I know this is going to sound really fucked up, but sometimes I wish I just lived in a secluded area of the country where there was no one but me. I never had to talk about anything to anyone and everyone who passed thru my secret area would be shot on sight. All I had to do was sit in my shack and watch wrestling having no contact with the outside world.

I love all my friends...but sometimes I feel I would be better off without them. I feel myself slipping back into my old ways again and it's not fun. I think being at Windsor is bringing back memories from Jenkins which for the most part was okay but has some bad times in there. Right now, I feel like I can't trust anyone and that the whole world is talking behind my back, including Cory, which is the one that hurts the most. This attitude is why I usually sat alone at lunch and seemed bitter towards everyone. All I wanted to do is come home and watch wrestling. No human interaction, no friends...just wrestling.

If things keep going the way they are now, I can see myself back in this state very soon.